Stupid Quotes
You'd think people in the public
eye would think before speaking...don't you?
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Question: If you could live forever, would
you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I
would not live forever.
- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest
Outside of the killings, Washington
has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
I've never had major knee surgery
on any other part of my body.
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor
starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
- Mariah Carey, pop singer
"I'm not going to have some reporters
pawing through our papers. We are the president."
- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
The police are not here to create
disorder. They're here to preserve disorder."
- Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 Democratic Party
convention
China is a big country, inhabited
by many Chinese.
- Former French President Charles de Gaulle
I haven't committed a crime. What
I did was fail to comply with the law.
- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed
to pay his taxes.
The Internet is a great way to get
on the Net.
- Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole
Things are more like they are now
than they ever were before.
- Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Traditionally, most of Australia's
imports come from overseas.
-Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
We're going to turn this team around
360 degrees.
- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
Researchers have discovered that chocolate
produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana....The researchers
also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember
what they are.
- Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
"It's like an Alcatraz around my
neck."
- Boston mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces
Half this game is ninety percent mental.
- Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
They're multi-purpose. Not
only do they put the clips on, but they take them off.
- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the
Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers
It is wonderful to be here in the
great state of Chicago.
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
I was recently on a tour of Latin
America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder
in school so I could converse with those people.
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
It isn't pollution that's harming
the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing
it.
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
The streets are safe in Philadelphia.
It's only the people who make them unsafe.
- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia
Smoking kills. If you're killed,
you've lost a very important part of your life.
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal
anti-smoking campaign
The president has kept all of the
promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on "Larry King Live"
After finding no qualified candidates
for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to
announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island
That lowdown scoundrel deserves
to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.
- A congressional candidate
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© Ozq 2001