You May be Addicted to
IRC If...
...Your service provider calls you
for tech support.
...Someone at work tells you a joke, and
you say "LOL!"
...You have ever had a dream about the
people in your channels.
...You have to scroll through your popup
menu.
...You watch T.V. with closed captioning
turned on.
...Your friend Tom tells you something
sad on the phone and you say "Awwww, me hugs Tom."
...You've called out someone else's nick
while making love to your husband.
...You keep begging your friend's to get
an internet account so "we can hang out."
...Three words: carpal tunnel syndrome.
...Your friends are now convinced that
IRC stands for "I Repeat Classes."
...You want to meet a girl and your first
impulse is to turn on your computer.
...You once devoted a weekend to "working
on your popups."
...You sometimes go to #egypt "just to
get away from it all."
...When you join #callahans everyone types
"Norm!"
...You're a heterosexual male, but one
time you used a feminine nick "just to mess with the horny net geeks."
...You come home from class, look at your
roomates, and say "ib."
...You wait for your roomates to say "re."
...The words "takeover," "nick collide,"
and "flood" make your heart beat faster and your hands a little shakey.
...Sometimes you type commands from the
unix prompt you mistakenly begin them with a "/"
...You've ever gotten onto an airplane
just to meet some folks face to face.
...You make it a point to change your
ping reply and quit message daily.
...You have over 2 megs of .wav files
on your mirc directory.
...You have to get a second phone line
just so you can call Domino's.
...Your child ignores your request and
you wonder if she is lagged.
...You send internet Christmas cards.
*wink*
...You've ever felt the urge to type "*wink*."
...You have ever wondered if there is
a #irc-anon.
...You have an irc web page.
...You've ever went to one of those form-submit
web page 'chats' just to say "you loosers don't even know what irc is,
do you? Huh!? DO YOU!?!"
...You've ever logged on to dalnet.
...You join #hispanola "just to work on
my Spanish."
...When someone on the channel asks if
anyone knows some good servers, everyone else types your nick.
...You join busy channels just to talk
to yourself because the scrolling makes you feel better about it somehow.
...You've ever typed "drinking on irc
is better than drinking alone."
...You go into labor and you stop to type
a "special" away message.
...You have a vanity car tag with your
nick on it.
...You go into irc withdrawals if you
are away from a computer for more than a few hours.
...You're a regular op in channel #mirc
or #mirchelp
...You e-mail prospective employers and
leave a channel name they can find you at
...Your friend tells you a joke and you
say "ROTFL..."
...You take a speed reading course to
keep up with the scrolling...
...You start thinking 100 megahertz is
to slow...
...Your notify list has over a hundred
people on it
...Your worst comeback to a bully is "I'll
slap you with a large trout"
...You suddenly realize you are late for
work.....cause you were on irc all night.........
...You know more than 7 of the people
in a channel at any given time.
...You have cyber dates with people that
you have never met before
...When you wake up in the morning the
first thing you do is get on to IRC before you have your coffee.
...You an script elaborate popups.
...You go to a party, meet a person of
the opposite sex, and ask them what they look like.
...You enter a room and you say /me greets
all.
...You keep flipping to IRC while reading
this page.
And lastly,
...You may be addicted to IRC if not only
did you laugh at this list, you understood it all too.
~*~ back
~*~
© Ozq
2001