Q: I am at a career crossroads; should I become an astronaut, a fireman, or a system administrator?
 
A:
 
PURPOSE OF YOUR CAREER
Astronaut:      Advancing scientific knowledge for the good of humanity.
Fireman:        Saving lives and property.
Sysadmin:     Assuring uninterrupted access to alt.binaries.erotica.sheep.
 
ADVICE YOU'LL GIVE KIDS WHO WANT TO FOLLOW IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS
Astronaut:   "Study science and math and eat your vegetables."
Fireman:     "Study science and math and eat your vegetables."
Sysadmin:   "DON'T DO IT!  RUN AWAY!"
 
QUESTION YOU'LL BE MOST TIRED OF ANSWERING
Astronaut:    "Where do you go to the bathroom?"
Fireman:      "Do you really slide down a pole when the alarm goes off?"
Sysadmin:   "Can't you do anything about all this spam I've been getting?"
 
WILL YOU EVER BE ON TV?
Astronaut:    Yes!
Fireman:      Occasionally.
Sysadmin:   Only MSNBC's "The Site," which doesn't technically count as  TV.
 
WILL YOUR JOB EVER GET ANY EASIER?
Astronaut:    As computers get more and more advanced and able to control more of the functions of the space vehicle, yes.
Fireman:      As more and more people install smoke detectors in their  homes, yes.
Sysadmin:   As more and more clueless newbies discover the Internet, absolutely not.
 
INSPIRING MOVIE ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION
Astronaut:    "The Right Stuff"
Fireman:      "Backdraft"
Sysadmin:    Uh... gee, I'm really drawing a blank here... "Wargames"?
 
YOUR WORK HOURS
Astronaut:     Fairly long days during the mission, but lots and lots of time between missions to relax.
Fireman:      24-hour shifts, but 48 hours between shifts to relax.
Sysadmin:    Not really "work hours" or even "work days"... more like "work millenia."
 
FRINGE BENEFITS OF YOUR JOB
Astronaut:    Lots of good stories to tell to impress members of the opposite sex.
Fireman:      Lots of good stories to tell to impress members of the opposite sex.
Sysadmin:   You get ALL of the jokes in "Dilbert."

NUMBER OF COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION
Astronaut:    A few, from people who think the government should be spending its money in different ways.
Fireman:      A few, from people who think you take too long to arrive following a 911 call.
Sysadmin:   You'll have to learn what comes after "trillion" to be able to count them all.
 
YOUR VEHICLE
Astronaut:    Multimillion-dollar space vehicle atop multimillion-dollar rocket.
Fireman:      Big red truck with flashing lights and siren.
Sysadmin:   1978 AMC Gremlin.
 
 
In conclusion, if the sysadmin option has seemed the most appealing in even one of these categories, you should become a sysadmin.
 
 

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