While growing up I always knew that I was wanted. I was an only child and my mother often told me how I was a miracle as she lost others and I was the only one to survive. It wasn't until I was almost an adult that I saw that a lot of other parents don't give their children that security. At a friend's place I saw her parents joke about how she was an 'accident'. They never saw the pain in their daughter's eyes as she laughed with the 'joke'. "Never show when you're hurt" was a credo I grew up with due to other reasons and as a result I can usually tell when others are covering it up.
 
Since then I have seen many parents either as a joke or honestly meaning it when they call their child an 'accident' or even more nasty is a 'mistake'. Maybe that's what they were told as children. Maybe the child was a true surprise to the new parents. It doesn't matter. But no child is an accident. Ever. There is always a reason for everything that happens, including unexpected pregnancies. Every human being is so important in the grand scheme that there can never be an 'accident'. Maybe the parents were unaware of that fact. That every child is born with a purpose, a reason for being. That their birth was chosen ahead of time to occur right there and right then. It doesn't matter what religion you belong to or if you've never even thought about it. Every person who has ever been through adolescence has asked "Why am I here? Why me? And why now?" We are all born knowing that we have a purpose. Otherwise the accusation that you are an accident would hold no pain. The pain results because of a denial of a basic Truth held deep within us - that we are here for a purpose, a reason for being. A reason to have been born at a specific time and a specific place and into a specific family. So that you would grow into the person you have become and pursue the destiny you have already chosen for yourself.
 
Children who are told they are "accidents" end up believing they are worthless, or, even worse, that they should never have been born at all. No child deserves to believe this. A parent is the most influential person in any child's life. What a parent says the child believes, no matter what it is or even if it does not make sense. A child has absolute trust and as such that trust should never be violated. A child's self esteem is a delicate thing and cannot survive rough handling. It should be built up because when they explore the real world they'll find it a harsh place and they need a cushion of comfort to fall back on, not hard words.
 
My own pregnancy was not planned, but I have always known my child is here for her own reasons. I help her as best I can to grow up to be a free and open minded person. To follow her own path in this life. Just because I had no clue she was about to begin her current lifetime does not mean that Spirit was unaware. That her exact birth was not planned down to the last detail. It was. With hindsight the preparations can be seen and understood. She was not an accident, she was an unexpected, but welcome, blessing. 

Love and Light,

Ozq
 
 

 © Susi 2001-2008